I can literally hear you… What the heck is she talking about?! If I can’t afford something, I can’t spend any money. Right or wrong?

Before we answer, let’s discuss this.

If you SPEND money or time on yourself, what do you do? You most likely buy a Latte Macchiato or Cappuccino on the way to work. Or have a dinner with your loved one(s) at Burger King or restaurant. Or get that expensive ticket for a game or theater you wanted for ages. It’s nice, it tastes lovely, it feels great. Dopamine, a reward and “feel-good” hormone, kicks in and you feel good and even happy. For the moment. Then the level of dopamine drops again and you even might start to feel guilty.

Yup, this is spending. A short-term glimpse of happiness and satisfaction.

If you INVEST in yourself, you might be starting something pretty huge. It still might be a purchase, but it feels differently. It changes stuff. It changes your perception of yourself and the world. It changes how your neurons are wired. How the hormones in your body are produced and in what amount. (Check some background info on this in my BLOG.)

The impact of INVESTING in yourself might be so enormous, that it can scare the heck out of you first. It’s a long-lasting change inside of you that opens eyes, heart and soul. And you might find yourself living the life you have always dreamed of.

Yeah, Mirka, sound lovely. I’d rather buy that ice-cream, enjoy it, feel happy for a moment and go on with my life.

No problem with me. You absolutely can do it. I did it for a long time. Going from one happy moment to another one. Until I realized that it is nice, but…. Yes, but. In between there were emptiness, grayness, never-ending everyday tasks. I was craving overall satisfaction and purpose.

So I went on the journey to myself. I invested in myself. It didn’t happen in one day. Not in a month. But it was worth every single cent and every single minute.

INVESTING in yourself is not easy. Why? Because you might have good and logical reasons why not to.

They might be these. How do I know? I had exactly these in my head 😉:

I don’t have money.

This might be actually true. It’s very possible that you don’t have money to spend on yourself. I don’t. But I have money to INVEST in myself.

You might have bills to pay, mortgage, your kids’ school fees, have to put the food on the table and all of these are important, even vital and eat up your money.

However, I can tell you one thing. If you make decisions based on “I don’t have money” rather than on “I truly wish, desire and dream of this and will find the way how to make it work”, you let your limiting beliefs win. You let basically yourself down.

Ask yourself:

• Do I live just to work and pay my bills? To feed the family? To go through the life because I am here and I have to somehow? To function and wait for the retirement or the end?
• Is there really no way I can save or find some extra $$? Think hard.
• What is at stake if I don’t invest money in myself?

Maybe nothing changes. But… Are you willing to be exactly where you are now in 10 years? Same status quo, same relationships, same job, same FEARS, unfulfilled dreams, same LIMITING BELIEFS?

I don’t have time.

Nobody has. You don’t own the time. Time is actually just a mankind’s invention. But, without going to be too philosophical…. you can manage yourself to make the best out of the hours and minutes you have at disposal.

Yes, you should take care of your loved ones. You should go to work, cook, do the household. You are not living in a rainbow bubble on an abandoned island.

Ask yourself:

• Is there honestly no space, no time window, when I could do something for myself only?
• What can I do to find such space, time window every day? Less social media? Less TV? No overtime at work?
• Can I actually afford NOT to take time for myself?

I don’t think I should spend the money and time I do have/find on myself.

Aka: I don’t value myself enough.

Ask yourself:

• Who is the most important person in my life? (Think twice!)
• How long can I go taking care of the wishes and needs of everybody around me?
• How do I feel about it?
• Can I take care of others and my everyday life if my own cup (mind, body, soul) is empty? Can I pour water from an empty cup?

As money and time might be a (felt real) excuse, not to value yourself enough can be a real problem. The main brake on your way of growing and evolving. And actually the BEST reason to INVEST in YOURSELF.

Because you don’t value yourself enough.

Because you let others to have such impact on your self-worth and the way you live.

We all have our limiting beliefs. That is nothing new and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s what we do (or NOT do) about them, what makes all the difference. Check my BLOG on this topic.

You are the artist of your life. Don’t give the paintbrush to anyone else. (Unknown)

Ok, maybe I was persuasive enough and now you are quite sure that you want to invest in yourself. Somehow. But how?! What shall you invest in? Good question.

Let’s start with the following:

• What makes you smile?
• What makes your heart jump with joy and dance around the fireplace?
• What gives you inner satisfaction and peace?
• Where do you see yourself in 1, 5, 10 years?
• How would you want to feel in 1, 5, 10 years?
• What would you like to know in 1, 5, 10 years?
• What are you truly willing to do to get there?
• Are you ready to invest your time and/or money to get there?
• How much time and/or money are you prepared to invest to get there (in yourself)?
• Who/what can help you/support you on your way there where you want to be, how you want to be, what you want to know?

Is an idea starting to crystalize in your head? Or two or three?

Which one gives you butterflies? That special gut-feeling?

Which one has been in your head actually for years but you always postponed it, forgot about it?

Which one is a HELL YES?

You might sense by now… it is a hard work. Well yeah… it doesn’t happen while you sit on your sofa and dream about it.

It does need a DECISION, some RESOURCES, WORK and DISCIPLINE.

Discipline? Yes. You might get distracted (again) and be pulled in all possible directions.

Question. What would you do, if you get a box of cherries, just picked straight from the tree? Probably you go through it, throw away some leaves that found their way in the box too, sort out the cherries that are not ripe yet and then wash them thoroughly to get rid of the dirt and bugs.

What did you just do there? You’ve discarded everything that is useless for you in order to have nice clean tasty cherries ready to eat. You went step by step to reach your goal.

And in the same way you should discard everything that is useless on your way to your shiny rocking colorful yourself you dream about. I am not going to tell you what it is. You know it already.

Any idea already what you would like to invest in?

There are tons of options. Generally speaking, it can be your health, relationships, career, self-development… Basically anything.

You can:

2. Nurture your body and mind.
3. Develop your skills, advance your education, expand your knowledge.
4. Explore your creativity.

You either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.” (Brené Brown)

Ok. Let’s say you have now a pretty good idea what you want to invest in. Now the question is HOW to do it.

You can read books about it.

You can Google it.

You can enroll in a course.

You can hire a coach.

Etc.

Aha. But why should you enroll in a course or even hire a coach, if you can Google the information? It’s all out there, right? And it doesn’t cost a thing, right?

Well….

– Are there tons of information about everything possible for free on the internet? Yup.

– Will it tell you what you, at the place where you are, with the knowledge and resources that you have, in the situation you are at, could do to get where you want to be? Nope.

In reality you might search for weeks or months. You might try to meditate, to follow all the possible freebies you’ve downloaded in the world wide web. You might buy those scented candles, aromatherapy oils, yoga mat and equipment, paintbrushes, colors and canvas, dictionaries and books on language learning.

So you SPEND time and money (not really for free then, I would say) and possibly nothing changes. Or you just give up before there is a chance for any change.

WHY is that?

• You did all of these from the security of your comfort zone.
• You have no plan about what and how.
• You don’t have any unconditional support without judgement.
• Nobody is out there to kick your b*tt if you are giving up.
• Nobody is out there to cheer you on and tell you that you can do it.

You’ve got the point.

So, darling.

You are the most important person in your life.

You are the most important investment you will ever make.

So do it with diligence, intention and purpose.

But most importantly – do it.

One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through. And it will be someone else’s survival guide. (Unknown)

Yours

Yup. As your body needs some food and liquid to survive, your soul needs it too. Ok, not necessarily food, even though I am a huge fan of chocolate as an answer to any situation and emotion.

To sum it up, it’s something like this:

What is the information as a nourishment for our spirit?

• Reading
• Listening                    ⇒ Awareness
• Observing

What about the rituals? If the rituals are what our Psyche (= Soul) needs to blossom, thrive and prosper, you could consider them, right? Maybe you do already because it makes you feel good. Now you know why.

• Be still
• Loose yourself by reading
• Go for a walk in nature
• Take a relaxing bath
• Have massage
• Clean/De-clutter
• Practice gratitude
• Go to cinema/theater/concert
• Gaze at the stars
• Daydream
• Go for a swim
• Play with a dog or a cat
• Spend a day with a child
• Serve others
• Experience joy moments
• …

These are something like a prescription from your physician. They actually should be such. I believe that if the doctors would prescribe us not only the pills, but some of those above, we would get well much faster. Why?

They work on the emotional level; however, emotions and feelings have huge impact on our physical body. They enhance our immunity, lower the blood pressure, relieve stress, improve resilience, etc., etc. How come?!

Ok, let’s dive a bit into this. It’s important to understand the connection.

Once I was asked about what the emotions were and where do they come from. Not aware about the real intention behind the question and having studied biology, I started to talk about the hormones and neurotransmitters. You can imagine the perplexed look.

But this is the truth. Emotions are chemical reactions. It’s as simple and as complex like that.

You might have heard about Adrenaline, Noradrenaline, Dopamine, Oxytocin, Endorphin, Serotonin… And there are more! These are the neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) that convert an electrical impulse between two neurons into a chemical signal to bridge the gap between these neurons. And the fluctuating levels of them cause the activation of different parts of the brain responsible for different emotions.

Isn’t it cool?

A bit more of Serotonin and you feel happy. Add Oxytocin and you are in love. Dopamine makes you feel addicted, to whatever (chocolate 😀 ) A pinch of Adrenalin and you are in stress and arguing.

Each emotion is a lovely cocktail of such chemical messengers.

By the way. Emotions… Feelings… What are they? Are they the same thing?

Nope.

Even though we use the terms “emotion” and “feeling” as synonyms, they are NOT interchangeable.

Emotions are lower level responses. Unconscious, physical and instinctual.

Feelings are conscious mental associations and reactions to emotions. Sparked by them and colored by your thoughts, beliefs and memories. These you actually CAN control and regulate. They are your responsibility.

How many of them are there? No idea. Possibly billions. Imagine all those people and all those chemical cocktails in them…

It’s actually similar to colors.

There are 6 basic emotions:

happiness, sadness, surprise, disgust, fear, anger. Each of them is a top of an iceberg.

There are 3 basic colors:

yellow, red, blue. Mix them in different proportions and you get any color you imagine. Mix them in equal proportions and you get…. White. Yes. White comprises all possible (millions) colors and its shades.

As well pure light comprises all possible (millions) colors and its shades. Rainbow is simply a pure light that hits the obstacle (raindrops) and breaks into seven visible colors. Yes, you’ve guessed it, there are millions hidden in them.

Imagine your soul as pure light. Or white color. It comprises millions of emotions, feelings and their nuances.

They emerge and cease again. Like the waves of the ocean. They are there somewhere. In the depth or just under the surface. Then some breeze comes and brings some to the coast. Nice happy waves. Or storm arises and the coast is suddenly devastated by huge strong ones. However, they never stay. And the sandy beach recovers again.

Check these examples (click on the picture to open it):

And this is crucial to realize.

Nothing stays still, nothing stays. Whatever situation, whatever emotion or feeling you are experiencing… it will all pass. Yes, unfortunately those positive, lovely ones, which we would like to hold on to forever, those will pass also.

However, it’s good to know it if you are stuck in the middle of unpleasant ones.

So what to do if you are experiencing something what we perceive as negative feeling? Yes, that conscious (negative) reaction to your thoughts, beliefs or memories?

• Name that feeling or feelings if there are more of them (important part)
• Feel it. Yup, feel it, acknowledge it, hug it. Why would you do that???! Because if you push it away, it will push back. It will become stronger. It’s physics. I wrote a blog about that: HERE
• After you have named it and hugged it, release it. Give your feeling permission to leave you anytime it’s ready.

It will.

And before I wrap this up, one more thing:

Remember that in every single feeling is the solution hidden already.

If something or somebody makes you feel one particular way, there is a reason behind. And one very precise (kind of) feeling – gut feeling (intuition) – will tell you exactly what you should do.

Yours

For a long time I had this question in my head. What is the most important journey? Where to?

When I came across the following lines by Safi Nidiaye, a German writer and meditation teacher some time ago, I was like “Yassss!”. This is it! This is what I was searching for and intuitive knew.

You are a hiker.
Not the worlds,
not paths on this planet,
not even different lives you wander through.
Those are landscapes of your soul
that you walk through.
Your soul is a universe;
mysterious and unknown to itself.

(Safi Nidiaye)

For as long as I can remember, I was searching for “something out there”. It took some serious exploring, emotional rollercoasters and many years ‘till I realized that I won’t find this “something” by moving from country to country. 

What I was searching for was NOT to be found somewhere “out there”.

You cannot pack your bag and just escape yourself. You cannot run away.

So I hit the road and went to meet that elusive shadow. My soul. Myself.

I guess this is the truth for the most of us – we are searching outside, running away from ourselves, trying to repair ourselves, looking for the solutions of ourselves. We are considering ourselves as pain, dilemma, obstacle… We are basically a walking problem.

No wonder that we feel lost. And I can guarantee you that no navigation device or any super-duper gimmick will help you here. Because the land that you should enter is behind your eyes, not in front of them.

Yup. This is the most important journey – towards inside, the one you see the best when you close your eyes. To your heart, to your soul. To your inner garden.

The only thing you need is a bit of courage and that first step. Something like Harry Potter and his Platform 9 ¾. It starts somewhere between your emotions, between sleep and being awake, between your dreams and reality.

And if you just thought “she is definitely crazy”… maybe. But you will never find out if you don’t try. Sooo, are you in for a ride?

While you think about the answer, I will write the next sunshine to your mailbox, where we hit the road.

Yours

Question.
When was the last time you were in a hurry?
Yesterday? Today? I bet it was not that long ago. Maybe you are in a hurry now and have no freaking time to read my post. It’s ok, I don’t mind. I know what’s in here. You will miss out on interesting stuff.

But how ok is it for you? To be trying to squeeze 3 things in 2 minutes? To finish this last task. To catch the bus or train. To manage to get some groceries in the last minute before the shop closes. To pick up kids from the school… ups, you are already late.

Guilty?

I know I am.

Guilty of not always being able to slow down.
Impatient.

However, I know how long it took me to get where I am now. Nope, not few months. And nope, not 1 or 2 years.

It was at least 20 years of struggling, searching, finding, loosing, searching again, learning, moving from country to country. 

And then suddenly the Sun rose in my head. Ta-dah! ☀️
I found my answers. I started to grow.
No, not in one day, but in comparison to those 20 years it felt like that.

I have to search inside me, not outside!!! 

And then I remembered what I have read about the Chinese Bamboo Tree. I bet you’ve heard that story too. I googled it – yup, it’s true.

It says that this bamboo, after a little seed has been planted and watered and nurtured…. does nothing. Excellent for impatient people. Yup, it just does nothing. If you give up and check on that seed, all is lost. So you wait. You wait one year, two years, three years … still there? Still watering? ? Four years… DON’T GIVE UP! Five years.
Yes, it takes five (5!!) years, till something happens. Look! ? There it is. And you better don’t go anywhere now, as this little thing grows up to 3 feet (1 meter) in 1 day! 90-100 feet in couple of months. Ok, then it stops, but still. You can literally watch it grow.

So what happened? Did this crazy seed sleep and then woke up and decided to catch up on time?
Nope.
It was pretty busy those 5 years. It was growing its roots. It built its foundations in the soil, so in the fifth year, it can just grow and grow.

No growth without solid foundations.

So basically what we can learn here?
And remember – I have validated this on my own example, even though it took me a bit longer, yeah. I hope my roots are then pretty deep 😉

• Be patient. 

• Stay focused.

• Trust.

Be patient. Big changes don’t happen overnight. If you are in the middle of a hamster wheel and a prisoner of your limiting beliefs, it takes time to set yourself free. You can start by taking a moment every day to slow down and hurry only when it’s absolutely necessary.
(I am trying to be realistic here and cannot help running to the supermarket in the last minute sometimes ? It’s ok.)

Stay focused. Once you found out what you want, what is your goal, what is your journey and what dream you are going to reach, keep your eyes on it! Keep on your path!
Do your thing, whatever it is, learn new language, raise your children, go for that coffee with friends, have lovely beach vacation, go to gym… or not (I am guilty here too), write a book… Whatever. But all in all – KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR PATH AND GOAL.

Trust. You will be given everything you need exactly when you need it. Trust. Pray.
God. Law of attraction. Universe. Everything ‘works’ just fine.
And if you have a day or two when you reach that bottom of the ocean, then have chocolate. Cry. It will pass.

✅ Nothing to wait for.

✅ Go and be awesome!

✅ Grow your roots!

✅ Hit the road on your adventurous journey!

Yours
                                            

Tell me. How many limiting beliefs do you have?

No idea?

You don’t have any? 

Too many to be able to count?

Which one of these are you? Well, we all have limiting beliefs. You too. Me as well. They are manipulating our thoughts and our actions from behind the scenes. Most of the time we don’t even notice that. We are so used to them, that we think our decisions were somehow not that cool, because the action or result did suck. There you go… another limiting belief on the way. 

Annoying? VERY!

And even if you are pretty aware that you have them and what they are, limiting beliefs keep holding on to you with their claws.

They are in your way, they keep you from moving on, they are hurting you and make you cry, you keep tripping over them, but …. cannot get rid of them.
 

Why?

You don’t want to?
You are scared to?
You are not able to?
You don’t know how?

Or maybe all of those above? 

We kind of nourish them inside us like babies. They are our excuses WHY we CANNOT do or be something. Why we cannot do more, be healthier, be happier, why we didn’t get that position we applied for, why we don’t get pay raise, why we are not in a relationship we dream about, why others treat us disrespectful. 

Poor me, I have to sacrifice myself, I will never be happy, I am basically a victim. Of others, of the unfair world and life.

Sorry to tell you…. you are a VICTIM of YOUR own limiting beliefs.